War is hell.

 

When cultures clash, humans are forced to contend with events and images that defy decency or rationality, extraordinary sights that linger in the mind long after the smoke clears. And hummus war is no exception.

 

Israel's neighbor to the north, Lebanon, has launched a bellicose effort in recent months to stake a claim as the originator and sole owner of the much beloved chickpea dish - an effort which included the setting of a Guinness World Record for the largest dish of hummus ever. Naturally, this aggression would not stand, and it was only a matter of time until Israelis responded in the only logical way: with an even larger pool of hummus.

 

Fittingly, the combatants in this latest skirmish hailed from Abu Ghosh, a small Arab village near Jerusalem widely regarded as home to the country's best hummus, and long embroiled in a simmering feud between bickering clans of an extended family of master hummus chefs. Inspiringly, they put aside their differences for this display of legume pride.

 

Representations of plenty are typically alluring, but then again, there is "plenty," and then there is "8800 pounds of hummus in an upended satellite dish."

 

Yes, the world record for the largest plate of hummus ever is once again in the garlic-redolent hands of Israel's hummus chefs, but perhaps at the cost of transforming the ethereal stuff of many a wonderful Middle Eastern lunchtime into a vat of hummus so gargantuan the children of Abu Ghosh may never pass another night without dreams of struggling to keep afloat in a thick mire of chickea puree.

 

No, really, the sight of 8800 pounds of hummus is hard to shake: